Showing posts from July, 2015

A Letter to my Potential Suitor

To the Muslim man I may be communicating with for the purpose of marriage,

It's a pleasure to meet you. While I'm excited about the time we'll be taking to get to know one another, I'm also very apprehensive. And the best way I deal with apprehension is to write. 
And so here I am, writing a letter to you.
I'm sure that upon first glance at my online profile and the images I've shared of myself, I present pretty well. I'm smiling, so things must be OK. My profile is written articulately and coherently. Alhamdulillah, I'm educated, have a stable job, a fun side gig that involves a lot of traveling, and have spent eight years working in a field I love. I have solid friends, good health, and a loving family.
I appear to have it all together. 
I can pretend that I've lived the "perfect life" with no trials or challenges: that there haven't been many life events that have left me struggling. I can further pretend that I'm happy-go-luck…


I'm not quite sure if I'm ready yet.

But then again, is anyone ever really ready, post-divorce, to put themselves out there again?

With my divorce being legally finalized (Alhamdulillah), I'm starting to reflect on where I'm at with respect to wanting a life partner. Personally, I don't think I've ever felt this happy and grounded. I'm completely accepting of being my own company, haven't felt "lonely" in quite some time, and my self-confidence is newfound. I'm blessed that I'm able to support myself, emotionally and financially, and stand independently on my own two feet. I'm striking a balance between work, family, friends, and leisure - and as my friends would put it, I'm "doing me" and living the way that feels the most true to myself. I am definitely happy.
I could further say that given how good and stable things are, I shouldn't rock the boat. Not that thinking about wanting a companion is a bad thing per …